miaspeaksblahblah

POLITICS. POLI-TALKS.

miaspeaksblahblah — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 19:21:00 +0000

"i dont care about the politics. " i often say this everytime the media shows how filthy the Philippine governance is. Its some sort of subconcious denial that i see filipinos begging for help looking like savages, like barbarians. People who are elaboarately abundant in resources, means and funds gamble their fate in running for the position in the dirty politics. People of their kind--influencial and powerful doesnt need to be in a political position to serve mankind. Being a government official is not a requirement to help provide what is necessary to accomplish in a dying 3rd world country.

F U

miaspeaksblahblah — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 14:48:00 +0000

I dont know if i am the only person who felt this way.

I know i am complete but i feel so deprived. i felt like my senses are not working for me. My eyes didnt see, my mouth didnt questioned,my ears didnt hear anything and my nose didnt even smell the condom.(or i doubt if they used). Anyways, i have to figure out what lies behind those smiles of guilt and sorry.(or did they even felt it?). Since i started hooking up, past frigs is totally not an issue(im sorry for the word). Just as long as telling me as early as you can imagine. I have not felt this way before and to tell you i am not liking it.

I HAVE BEEN DECIEVED.

For the past few months, i thought i knew everything. Like, every bit and every shit. And for the past few months i was fooled. It just dont feel right at all.. It is not... and it wil never be. I do not care about the "F" thing, its just "F" anyways. You can give it to anybody if youre just a total hoe.(im sorry for the word again i dont know how to make this blog look clean if the issue is just ridiculuosly filthy). Well the "F" thing is just the "F" thing. But the point here is, i know hearing the truth kinda suck but hiding the truth from you is the worst thing a lover can do. I know y'all agree with me. I JUST DONT LIKE THE IDEA OF "ME" BEING FOOLED WITH 2 GREAT PEOPLE.

It frustrates me so much thinking that this is not fair again. I know this is crazy but i have this feeling of extreme urge to hook up on somebody random (minus the S to the T to the D, of course). Or even regret why i never allowed my ex boyfriend to get inside my pants when the warmth of our system is at its peak.

gahig ulo. >: /

miaspeaksblahblah — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 22:14:00 +0000

sumtyms i pretend to be like a dork and the not-listening-type-dumbass just because i dont want to say yes everytime and all the time. even if those things are meant for the betterment of my self and for us. it doesnt sound right at all, i know.

i feel better now, i guess im done with the little evil thing. i dont know if i am in position to be sorry or to congratulate myself---- it was ridiculous. i have fought for this but the thought of it makes me weak. i know i was being selfish i also know i was badly hurt. i dont actually care about the act, i care about what he was because it is wat he is.

this calls for a change. he has made his self clear, i had all the thorns out .

i am okay now.. but is he?

so not healthy.

miaspeaksblahblah — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 06:51:00 +0000

wen trusting is not that easy. wen words i ought to speak doesnt come out right. wen the past is making the present hold doubts. wen i see vividly how being unfair works. This has been the worst thing he has done to me through his past.

i do not speak so much words and wen i speak i always try to make them politically appropriate. this now, made me feel how being unfair stings like shit. i know this is some sort of immaturity, but i should have made my self the mega bitch way back so my side and his now is equal in the justice table.

i hear in my mind the sound and the words and it breaks my heart. why the heck i am doing this? because it doesnt sound ryt. if only he was just careful.

LINEAGE.

miaspeaksblahblah — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 21:05:00 +0000

Unlike normal families under one roof, i do not feel the same as them. When I was a lil kid I felt like walking on air, carefree and was grateful that my family is one like those i see in television. It went on very well until I saw college's threshold. I was displeased to see myself happy in school but poignant in family matters. It is heartbreaking to see the man behind my strength and the woman behind my potency cannot make decisions for themselves.

Hambog.

miaspeaksblahblah — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:12:00 +0000

while some people hover in overwhelming,overemphasized possesions of their half-true state of affairs, some trivial people of my kind for example eavesdrop on their talks, shuts up, processes the linguistic unit and blog them. :) i certainly cannot fathom how boasters got their guts on things like talking exaggerated thoughts that focuses on their fabric self and their pointer finger above their chest. They're like fluttering on thin air gracefuly dances with the perfumed atmosphere yet never aware of the fact that they still look like tissue paper nothing less but lanky.

Some bullshits I missed to duct tape.

miaspeaksblahblah — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 21:54:00 +0000

Like ungulates with their solid hooves, the sound of stampede lingers my ear. I hear them and see them wearing frocks of irrationalism. As if they are bound to feed me and eventually devour me at the end of the day. I keep on telling my self that fate has every hold of my being and that on every step I make has something to do with the happy-ending thing everyone wants to set in. After being incarcerated for 20 long years, technically the fate-thing sounds absurd. Sometimes, it doesn’t make sense anymore. In some cases, fate keeps me from holding on having in mind what lies ahead is better. I have been waiting for my emancipation from the time I realized the things going around me sucks more than I thought. Worst, I thought I’m done with it and that doesn’t keep me from being frustrated. I have not proven myself anything except that I am human and I am breathing. Does it even make sense?

Like political colloquy about murder slash massacre and the like, it is more of mayhem—very mutilating. I was not born with some sort of prodigy or something and I guess this is not a ticket for being labeled unfortunate. Or does it? Like nuisance of their own hopes and dreams, they made a catastrophic scene on me.

I missed to duct tape mouths who speaks irrelevant words. Mouths of people who talk and talk and talk but has words that doesn’t mean anything.

friendtalk

miaspeaksblahblah — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 21:53:00 +0000

soliloquy, the thing i always do when im alone, frustrated, disappointed, bombarded, stressed and screwed up. this generally means im not satisfied with what is real. i talk to myself and say whatever i want but that doenst mean im a psycho i just wanted to let my incarcerated emotions get freed. i was born not knowing my purpose and until now unfortunately, still dont know it. i still merely watch the earth rotate and let life be as it is.am i just too considerate about the things that are happening to me?

i have met vulgar, annoying, inconsiderate, selfish, self-centered people but still forgave them despite the fact that im striving really hard to accept their character. i was trying to be so good the time i thought ive met the best people i know even though evryday there trying to screw me up , still i believed they were the best.but when the time came i got fed up , just like the compensatory mechanism of the body(fighting against infection), i fought for my right (the silent way though). i never thought that the people who i considered the best are noW the worst people i know. i know im not a perfect friend but i can be what a friend is meant to be. i know im dumb, stupid, vulnerable, and weak. i dont understand why some people make the most simple things be an issue. wy cant we all just get along?the world is not turning around you and i hope you can feel that.That every unprofessional colloquy youve shared are bouncing back on you.That you are not the star of the universe.That even if we belong to a different walks of life, we still are equal.the lesson i learned to every disappointments I've encountered is that,you dont need to give all ur trust to whoever u believed is break-proof leave something to yourself.that some people are unkind, disrespectful and irrational but FORGIVE THEM ANYWAY.

cemetery etiquette, anyone?

miaspeaksblahblah — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 21:52:00 +0000

i have been thinking of ending everything about my story in an instant because in my own realization it is the only way i could hurt them.i know they'll be in grief but i know they'll be just fine eventually when time heals my loss.(that kinda changed my mind) but as much as i wanted to vanish, is as much more as i wanted to see how my story ends.

oh well i guess i have to live. not leave.

^_^

life's a crap

miaspeaksblahblah — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 21:50:00 +0000

another day has ended and it seems like i havnt made anything good since i was born. everythings just sooooo vague. it seems like im in "nowhere" a place were i serve no purpose but to merely watch the earth rotate. then i realized i lost friend that i used to treasure. friend hu i thought was the best but eventually turned out to be the worst person i know. its not pride that triggers me not to look back..its a choice i chose to be just EXTREMELY HAPPY. could the angels blow there trumpets and lure everyone i know to be REAL?

and then one day i was looking for this "missing piece chuva", found it! and let it go.
i thought to my self, i was not looking for wat i have found.. i am looking for something else i do not know.

maybe ill just wait till all ds crap gets tired of bothering me.